It was September 2011. Srila Gurudev was taken to Medanta Hospital in New Delhi for a general medical checkup before the much awaited month-long Braj Mandal Parikrama. Srila Gurudev was waiting in a room for his turn to see the doctor. We were about five persons standing next to him. In the middle of what seemed a casual conversation Srila Gurudev said somewhat nonchalantly so that it may go unnoticed, “When the time appropriate comes Krishna will come and take me. Isn’t it?” He smiled and continued to speak some other topics.

These words have a very deep meaning and one has to meditate upon these words for one’s own eternal welfare. Pure devotees never take birth and never die like those bound by the karmic reactions. They come to this world by the desire of the Supreme Lord to fulfill certain service activities and go back to Him by His desire only. On several occasions we heard Srila Gurudev say after his severe illness and cardiac surgery in 2006, “I almost left the world but Srila Gurudev sent me back saying that you still have few essential services to do.” Words fall short to describe the longing His Divine Grace has for his own Gurudev. His sense of urgency and desire to join his spiritual master in the eternal pastimes was seen in his day-to-day activities and conversations.

Eleven years later, after a very delightful vyasa puja celebrations in Sree Chaitanya Gaudiya Math, Kolkata that had seen the participation of many devotees from all corners of the globe, Srila Gurudev exhibited pastimes of sickness on April 8, 2017. It was a regular fever with cough, which was cured with medicines previously on several occasions. This time His Divine Grace would not respond to the medicines as he had done in the past. With a severe cardiac arrest during the very early hours of April 12, things looked abnormal and much grave than the usual. Soon Dr. Sushmita came to see him and His Divine Grace was put on an external respiratory support with the help of the medical staff on night vigil in the Math. A little later Dr. Amitava Mukherjee also arrived.

Srila Gurudev was unaware of all the external happenings. He was in Samadhi with the mind fixed on his object of worship. The entire procedure took a long time and all the sevaks were very emotional with grave faces. A sense of insecurity and fear filled the hearts of the sevaks when the doctor declared that the situation is very critical and that it would be better to inform all his dear ones to come to see him soon. There was an outburst of tears from the eyes of all those standing next to Srila Gurudev.

Local devotees, who had come for the daily morning darsans, were informed of the situation. Gaura Sundar Prabhu started sankirtan with a group of assembled devotees in the balcony where Srila Gurudev stayed. Soon the outside devotees were informed over telephone and electronic mail. Parampujyapad Bhakti Bhushan Bhagavat Maharaj, the senior-most sannyasis among other godbrothers, Parampujyapad Bhakti Saurabh Acharya Maharaj, who was in Jalandhar with a preaching party, and several other senior brahmacari and grihasta members of the Math were informed of the situation. The preaching activities were handed over to few brahmacharis and Srila Acharya Maharaj arrived in Kolkata that night. Many devotees – brahmacharis, sannyasis, householders – from different parts of the country gathered in Kolkata. Sankirtans and singing of Srila Gurudev’s transcendental qualities and activities were performed in the ground floor on the 13th. Inside Srila Gurudev’s room the brahmacharis offered their services by reading the lives of devotees like Dhruva, Prahlad, Ambarisha etc., and the pastimes of Supreme Lord Sree Krishna from Srimad Bhagavatam round the clock.

Slowly more and more devotees arrived and soon Kolkata Math was full with devotees. Devotees were extremely pained to see Srila Gurudev in such a situation. It was a heartbreaking sight. Wherever there is love there always exists a fear of separation. Slightest discomfort to the object of love will cause severe anxiety. In such a state the devotees stayed in the Math not caring for food, water, or proper rest. There were regular darshans of Srila Gurudev and devotees would not want to miss even the slightest opportunity to have his audience. Everyone wanted to offer whatever kind of service they could for His Divine Grace.

Srila Gurudev did not seem to respond to somewhat calculatedly aggressive treatment offered by the doctors. And on 14th after a series of few lengthy conversations with the doctors the sevaks could understand that the situation has completely gone out of the hands of doctors. Other than Srila Gurudev’s personal desire to stay in this mortal world there was nothing that seemed to stop him from joining his spiritual master in his eternal pastimes. The senior members and all other devotees were informed of the situation. Parampujyapad Bhakti Saudha Jitendriya Maharaj insisted that 24 hour sankirtans should start in the balcony where Srila Gurudev stayed. Following his order, non-stop Krishna Nama Sankirtan started at around 10pm on 14th. A few devotees started to offer their service by simultaneous uninterrupted recitations of the three scriptures – Srimad Bhagavatam, Sree Chaitanya Charitamrita, and Sree Chaitanya Bhagavat.

Srila Gurudev is sankitrana-priya. Kirtans are very dear to him. All through his life, he had only preached that krishna sankirtan is the highest object of shelter. He would personally be spiritually intoxicated while performing sankirtans that would make him and all others around him dance in ecstasy. And now, in the guise of such intense sickness pastimes Srila Gurudev once again taught to take shelter of the Holy Name to overcome all types of anxieties. Supreme Lord and His pure devotees shower Their mercy in several ways unknown to a conditioned soul.

In Kolkata Math the entire focus shifted to kirtan. Devotees sang kirtans ecstatically taking turns. Srila Gurudev’s favorite kirtan ‘Radhakunda tata kunja kutira’ was sung several times each day. Not a second was gone without the kirtans being heard. The entire atmosphere was surcharged with spiritual vibrations. He empowered each and every single devotee to perform sankirtan with deep absorption. He taught through this episode that if the chanting is from the core of the heart, earnest, intense, and uninterrupted his constant presence will be there.

Within two days or so the math was full with over one thousand devotees. Apart from the devotees who gathered in Kolkata Math, many other devotees staying in different parts of the world gathered locally and started to perform sankirtan in their respective countries. Several devotees joined the webcast of sankirtans in Kolkata Math. That was a unique service opportunity Srila Gurudev gave to all of his disciples and dear ones.

Srila Gurudev was always intoxicated in Krishna-nama-sankirtan, whether or not externally conscious. He was lying on the bed and was seemingly unaware as he was not communicating with any one of us externally, but inwardly not only he himself relished Krishna-namasankritan offered by the devotees but also inspired devotees from within to come and join sankirtan movement. Those who performed the sankirtans those days are the true servants of Srila Gurudev. Even though the sevaks were attending to the immediate medical services of Srila Gurudev, one would think that the best service was done by those who performed kirtans. Of this there is no doubt.

Srila Gurudev could have concluded his pastimes much before but he chose this way to make us realize that the process of Krishna-nama-sankirtan is the only way by which everyone could stay united for a single purpose. Srila Prabhupad Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Goswami Thakur had mentioned in his antim-vani (final instructions) to offer oneself in the sacrificial fire of the seven-tongued Krishna-nama-sankritan, and to remain united in following the ashraya vigraha Sri Guru to satisfy the transcendental senses of the Supreme Lord. With material ego and mundane vanity it is impossible to follow this instruction. Most merciful Srila Gurudev through these sickness pastimes had shown to all of us the proper way to perfectly follow the words of Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Goswami Thakur Prabhupad. This speaks of his unbound magnanimity and affection and that to shower such it does not require any physical medium.

Kolkata Math and in fact everywhere in the world the uproars of ‘ha gurudev, ha gururdev, jai gurudev, jai gurudev’ filled the ambience. Nothing less, nothing more. Srila Gurudev, like a magnetic force, attracted everyone universally and offered this unique service opportunity. One could very clearly witness that Srila Gurudev was not simply lying on the bed but in fact he himself was doing everything, he was steering everyone in the path the entire parampara wanted us to move on. Many devotees strongly felt this within their hearts.

By 15th, Srila Gurudev had reached a state where he would no longer accept any food in any form. All medicines were stopped. His heart function was deteriorating steadily and the situation headed towards a multi-organ failure. By the sincere effort of some of our god-brothers, a renowned cardiologist in Kolkata, Dr. Shuvanan Ray, was brought to the Math on the 17th evening to visit Srila Gurudev. The doctor was astonished saying that it was impossible for anyone to sustain the body at a very low pulse rate, without food and medicines. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He called it a miracle and His Divine Grace’s body to be divine. He could not find any suitable words to describe the state of Srila Gurudev. Other doctors marked that Srila Gurudev does not seem to be in any sort of pain; he appears as if he is in deep sleep. They said that they had seen many patients but not the one like Srila Gurudev’s. They opined that Srila Gurudev was answering the kirtans of the devotees. They asked us to continue the kirtans as they thought that that seemed to be Srila Gurudev’s diet and medicine.

On the other hand, the kirtans have suspended the material thoughts and anxiety of all the devotees. They were only concentrating on kirtans. The only target was how they could please Srila Gurudev in these last moments. They were simultaneously expecting more miracles from Srila Gurudev. He performed those in the past and if need be he could do it again. Devotees were taking turns one after another, waiting in queue to read scriptures and lead kirtans. One could easily witness how Srila Gurudev was reciprocating to the services offered by the devotees. Actually the love that he shared with everyone crossing all material barriers can never be paid back by doing any kind of service. Yet devotees were not ready to give up even a bit of the service opportunity. Some were ready to leave their jobs, some postponed their official foreign trips, mothers did not care for their children back at home, and nobody even cared for any of the basic bodily necessities. Devotees continuously performed sankirtans with no signs of tiredness on their face or body. One would wonder how that was possible.

There were complaints from neighbors not to play and sing loudly in the night as it disturbed their sleep. But who can stop anyone intoxicated in nama-sankirtan? Each and every single person was empowered by Srila Gurudev to be intoxicated in sankirtan. The entire atmosphere reminds one of Srivas Angan where there were maha-sankirtans whole nights. The courtyard of Srila Gurudev became Srivas Angan. The kirtans in raised voice dumbed all other material words. The ambience was completely surcharged. Even though devotees knew that very soon they will become orphans but still the entire focus was on sankirtan. Guru Maharaj made this plan; he made the situation very comfortable, soothing and painless.

A couple of days before the departure of Srila Gurudev, one his god-brothers, Srila Bhakti Niketan Turyasrami Maharaj marked that in his entire lifetime he had not seen such an offering by the disciples to their spiritual master at the time of his departure. He said that he had seen many disciples of Srila Prabhupad while leaving the world but not the one like this. He further said that Srila Gurudev is very magnanimous, and that he was very liberal in offering his love, affection and kindness to others and therefore he was earning that love from everyone.

On Chaitra Krishna Navami (9th day during the dark fortnight of the month of Chaitra), at 10.15 PM on April 20, Thursday, amidst a 6-day long non-stop sankirtans and while his favorite kirtan ‘Radhakunda tata kunja kutira’ was being sung, His Divine Grace entered into the eternal pastimes of Sree Sree Radha Govinda at the fag end of the 7th period out of the eight periods in a day (astayama). The time of his entrance in the nitya-lila is very significant as it marks the phasing out of the 7th period and at the doorway of the 8th period of the day. Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur Prabhupad writes in his preface to Srila Bhaktivinode Thakur’s Bhajan-rahasyan that the eight verses of Sikshataka of Sri Gauranga Mahaprabhu are in conformity with the eight periods of the day. The time of Srila Guru Maharaj’s entrance into nitya-lila accordingly is the transition from the prema-viprambha (love in separation) – yugayitam nimeshena to prema-sambhog (love in union) – ashlishya va pada-ratam. After separation, union is imminent. Over years devotees witnessed Srila Gurudev’s desperate cries out of separation from his divine master and now he is reunited with his divine master in the eternal pastimes.

On the other hand, Srila Gurudev’s dear disciples and his loved ones were left in separation grief. Parampujyapad Acharya Maharaj offered his obeisances to the transcendental body of Srila Gurudev and made an announcement of Srila Gurudev’s departure to all the assembled devotees and world-wide. The devotees, one by one, entered into the room of Srila Gurudev with cries of agony in feelings of separation. The separation was unbearable; they wept, shouted, and were lifeless. Some devotees even fell to the ground. Some devotees offered their tears to wash his feet. Sankirtans continued for the entire night in a state of despair and deep pain.

By their departure from the world pure devotees give us a lesson that this world is not a place of permanent residence. They leave behind the instruction that we need to become less and less dependent on these material sense organs so that we can become eligible to see their form and grace through spiritual eyes, and listen to their instructions through the ears of the heart.

All of us are deprived of seeing Srila Gurudev’s appearance on this plane, his pastimes as a child, his spiritual urge and its calling. We only heard. But now, he very mercifully, out of his sishya-vatsalayata (compassion to the dear ones), gave them an opportunity to see the departure of a perfect Acharya. Srila Gurudev has shown to the entire world how to leave this planet. It was such a befitting farewell to an Acharya who held the flag of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s sankirtana firmly raised high in the sky for several years.