A doubt occasionally arises in my heart. I think, “Have I made a mistake in accepting the shelter of the lotus feet of the Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas? It certainly seems so. I appear to have made a mistake in taking up bhajan, in accepting the shelter of the Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas and, specifically, in taking refuge of the Gauḍīya Maṭh and dedicating all my senses to serving in the Maṭh.

“Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas are not big-hearted. When we perform bhajan under their shelter, we are controlled by so many rules and regulations. If I were to take refuge of some other sampradaya there would be no such botheration and, also, no concern for offenses such as vaiṣṇava-aparādha, nāma-aparādha or dhāma-aparādha. I would not be obliged to develop exclusive devotion for a particular object of worship [such as Rādha and Kṛṣna], nor would my eating habits be curtailed. In the Maṭh, issues like vaiṣṇava-aparādha are raised, and it often impedes my unrestricted sense enjoyment, lawless gossiping, and other whimsical activities. It would, therefore, be better for me to live outside the Maṭh than be governed by such restraints.”

Sometimes I even think it would be best for me to abandon the shelter of such a controlling Gurudeva, and to accept the mantra elsewhere, without having to follow all the rules and regulations. Thus, I occasionally contemplate severing my ties with the Gauḍīya Maṭh completely. What stops me, however, is the thought that if people were to find out that I had broken my connection with Sree Guru, it could jeopardize my prestige and position.

Discipline and Deceit

The Vaiṣṇavas of the Sree Chaitanya Gauḍīya Maṭh are one-pointedly engaged in worshipping Sree Gaurāṅgadeva and Sree Sree Rādha-Kṛṣna, under the guidance of Sree Rūpa Goswāmipāda and the best among his followers, namely, Sreela Bhaktivinode Ṭhākur and Sreela Bhakti Siddhānta Saraswatī Goswāmi Prabhupād. Kṛṣna-prema is their only goal (sādhya) and their only practice (sādhana). There is no absence of affection or devotion in the sādhana of the servants of the Sree Chaitanya Gauḍīya Maṭh. Hence, they will never support any endeavor that is unfavorable to the cultivation of affection for Sree Kṛṣna.

What auspiciousness can that sādhana bring, if it can’t offer its practitioner any way to attain his cherished goal quickly and if it can’t even offer him any certainty that he will realize his worshipable deity at all? This type of sādhana, when propagated, tends only to attract followers. For those content to pass their lives without purpose or restriction, what use is there to accept the lotus feet of sad-guru, a transcendental teacher? But those who can see their own defects and unwanted things (anarthas), and who try to become free of them, develop an urge to become qualified to taste the bliss of prema for Bhagavān. Only they can remain in the shelter of saintly devotees endowed with this prema. They can experience the happiness of being engaged in service to Bhagavān by living under the guidance of such one-pointed devotees and following their instructions. This involves subduing their senses and abstaining from whimsical activities.

Those who make a show of accepting the shelter of the lotus feet of Sree Guru simply deceive themselves; they pretend to be self-controlled and reformed but internally maintain their previous bad impressions and bad tendencies. They recruit followers on the pretext of accepting the shelter of Sree Guru, with the aim of fulfilling their selfish ends through their so-called disciples. The attempts of such arrogant and duplicitous people to attain auspiciousness are endlessly frustrated.

To be a disciple means to be disciplined, or controlled. If a person outwardly accepts the shelter of Sree Guru but arrogantly maintains the attitude that he knows best about his spiritual life, then he is but a cheater—deceiving both himself and others. Pure Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas are most magnanimous and bestow the highest auspiciousness. If we can become eligible to understand even a single aspect of their exemplary lives we will become delightfully dedicated to sādhana-bhajan.

Bhakti Lies Beyond Renunciation

Those who possess kṛṣna-prema are neither enjoyers nor renunciants. They are not karmīs, fruitive workers; neither are they jñānīs, persons cultivating knowledge of the impersonal Brahman. Those who perform sinful activities honor karmīs who abide by scriptural injunctions; and when karmīs who are eager to enjoy the results of their endeavors see the external renunciation of jñānīs and renunciants, they may be attracted to them. However, those who hanker for kṛṣna-prema disregard both of these paths. They are attracted only by activities that nurture the cultivation of this prema.

Someone who is not aspiring for prema for Bhagavān will perceive only enjoyment or renunciation in the behavior of the devotees. If he takes shelter of them upon observing their external renunciation, he may for a while consider himself blessed to be in their company. Kṛṣna-prema, however, cannot be attained by external renunciation. Unless one has sincere faith and affection for the svarūpa of Sree Bhagavān, he cannot become attracted to the behavior of Bhagavān's devotees. The characteristic of such one-pointed devotees is that directly or indirectly they only cultivate love for Sree Kṛṣna:

anyābhilāṣitā-śūnyaṁ
jñāna-karmādy-anāvṛtam
ānukūlyena kṛṣṇānu-
śīlanaṁ bhaktir uttamā
(Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu 1.1.11)

[Performing activities that are favorable exclusively for the pleasure of Sree Kṛṣna or, in other words, in relation to Him, free from illicit and immoral actions that are averse to His service and, are not covered by the desires for liberation or enjoyment, is called uttama-bhakti, pure devotional service.]

One must deliberate upon this verse. The activities of a devotee of Kṛṣna, such as establishing a Maṭh (spiritual institution), constructing a temple, meeting with materialistic or aristocratic people, hosting festivals with pomp and grandeur, and giving instructions to ignorant or faithless people, are all suddha-bhakti. To serve Bhagavān and the devotees one may supervise the construction of a temple or the house of a devotee, collect materials, purchase supplies and accept the undignified and lowly propensity to beg. Such activities are supremely pleasurable and nourish one’s bhakti. Those same activities, however, bind one to this material world if they are performed with the aim of gratifying one’s senses; accumulating wealth, women and fame; or attaining dharma, artha, kāma or mokṣa.

What Is True Renunciation?

kuṣṭhī-viprera ramaṇī, pativratā-śiromaṇi,
pati lāgi’ kailā veśyāra sevā
stambhila sūryera gati, jīyāila mṛta pati,
tuṣṭa kaila mukhya tina-devā
(Chaitanya Charitāmṛta, Antya-līlā 20.57)

[The wife of a brāhmaṇa, who was suffering from leprosy, showed herself to be the topmost of chaste women by serving a prostitute to satisfy her husband. She halted the movement of the sun through the power of her chastity, and brought her dead husband back to life after satisfying Brahma, Viṣṇu and Maheśvara.]

We should consider this account in the light of our discussion. That chaste brāhmaṇa wife’s service to a lowly prostitute in the sincere endeavor to please her husband enhanced her glory. She thus became worshipable for the entire world. What’s more, she became very dear to Sree Bhagavān. If, however, she had performed this service for her own sense pleasure, or for dharma, artha, kāma or mokṣa, it would have been reprehensible in every respect.

In this world, renunciation means to relinquish the objects of one’s attachment. But can ceasing to take foods that merely aggravate a disease, for instance, be considered renunciation? Abstaining from foodstuffs that destroy good health in favor of accepting foods that increase longevity can hardly be celebrated as a great act of renunciation. Thus, it is hard to see how the act of renouncing one’s father, mother, relatives, friends, wealth, occupation, business or worldly duties for one’s personal happiness and comfort, can in itself be glorious. Only when a person renounces the objects of his mundane pleasure for the pleasure of the Absolute Truth [Sree Bhagavān], expecting no sense enjoyment in return— striving for dharma, artha, kāma or mokṣa, or for wealth, women, and adoration—can his renunciation be considered actual renunciation.

Ordinarily, it is considered irreligious to forsake the duties that the scriptures prescribe for one’s varṇa and āśrama; but if these duties are discarded for the pleasure and satisfaction of Sree Kṛṣna, who is the Cause of all causes and the bestower of supreme bliss, then and only then is such renunciation honorable. Indeed, such renunciation, which benefits everyone, is to be revered. To renounce endeavors for sense gratification—that is, endeavors in one’s search for happiness in this world or in the next—for the pleasure of the Absolute Truth is courageous and glorious. The topmost renunciation is to abandon everything, even one’s independent will and desires, for the pleasure of Bhagavān Sree Kṛṣna and His one-pointed devotees.

Renouncing the mind’s propensity for independence, in other words, the sacrifice of one’s very self is far superior to renouncing inert and temporary things. The glory of one’s renunciation lies truly in the glory of the purpose of such sacrifice. Sree Bhagavān and the devotees attached to Him by love possess unlimited glories; and therefore to renounce for their pleasure is supremely noble. Such renunciation is incomparable because it increases the happiness of all living entities by reawakening their relationship with Sree Bhagavān. It does not admit even the slightest scent of distress. Such renunciation, on the other hand, bestows bliss in every respect and is highly esteemed.

Fruitive workers, or karmīs, make sacrifices and perform austerity with the hope of attaining increased mundane sense pleasure in the future. Such renunciation is, therefore meager and does not bestow complete happiness. Jñānīs make sacrifices and perform austerity to dispel their own suffering. Their renunciation, also, does not bestow full happiness.

The sacrifices and austerities of Kṛṣna’s devotees, however, are meant exclusively for the pleasure of Sree Hari. Since Sree Kṛṣna is the Cause of all causes, such renunciation bestows true welfare upon the devotee and upon others. Therefore, Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas greatly honor those activities that promote love of Bhagavān, and they reject activities that hinder it. In this sādhana, any possession and act of renunciation that is favorable to bhakti are highly regarded. Yet devotees are not attracted to sense enjoyment and renunciation in their own right. They are attracted to love for Bhagavān and His devotees. They have no independent or whimsical desire to enjoy or renounce. Yukta-vairāgya, renunciation for the pleasure of Sree Kṛṣna, is their only sādhana. Without understanding bhajan-rahasya, the ontological mystery of bhajan, one will become bewildered by what sense enjoyment is and what renunciation is. Both are impediments in the sadhaka’s cultivation of prema for Bhagavān.

Don’t Waste a Moment

Those who have realized that this human life offers an invaluable opportunity to work towards attaining the supreme goal, prize every moment of it. They are unwilling to waste even an instant in any other endeavor. They know that living entities in other species of life do not have the facility or good fortune to make progress towards the supreme goal and, accordingly, they see no value in living their lives in the manner of the lower species. Hence, upon attaining this extremely rare human life and, on top of that, attaining the fortune to associate with sadhus and developing faith for the supreme goal, they cannot quietly squander a single moment of their lives. Rather, they will accept only what is favorable to the cultivation of affection for Sree Kṛṣna and will reject all activities that are unfavorable to it.

As such, the devotees of the Gauḍīya Maṭh instruct the world to engage only in those practices that are righteous and favorable to the cultivation of kṛṣna-prema and to reject unrighteous activities that impede it. Moreover, they never indulge in violence or envy, as this hinders the cultivation of prema.

My Doubt Resolved

Thus, if I am genuinely searching for kṛṣna-prema, I have not after all made any mistake in accepting the shelter of the lotus feet of pure Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas. Such Vaiṣṇavas will not fuel our desire for dharma, artha, kāma and mokṣa or our hankering for wealth, women, and adoration. The purpose of the Maṭh is to help us become free from these anarthas and attain kṛṣna-prema. By taking shelter of the Sree Chaitanya Gauḍīya Maṭh or the lotus feet of pure Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas, beggars for kṛṣna-prema become qualified to attain their greatest welfare. Moreover, they receive the opportunity to achieve the highest ideal of magnanimity and to ascend to the topmost level of pure vairāgya, renunciation. This is my unshakable conviction. One cannot be deviated from attaining kṛṣna-prema in due course unless one becomes a severe offender.

One day, by the mercy of Sreela Prabhupād, the world will profusely glorify and worship the Sree Sāraswata Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas (that is, Sreela Prabhupād’s followers). They alone are able to establish the highest ideal of benevolence in the world. Victory will certainly belong to the devotees of the Sree Chaitanya Gauḍīya Maṭh or those who have taken shelter of the lotus feet of Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas. I have not, therefore, made a mistake in accepting the shelter of the lotus feet of pure Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas. Rather, I have whole-heartedly embraced the good fortune of attaining my highest welfare, and thus I am truly blessed.